If you’re someone that regularly reads this blog, you’ve probably noticed how awfully quiet it was on here in the past three weeks.
I could start apologizing and making excuses for why that happened, but I really shouldn’t. The truth is that I went through a phase of rapid self-discovery, and my mind was completely occupied with my future, my happiness and my choices.
Sometimes, I struggle putting these thoughts into words, or I’m just not happy with what I write. I’m convinced it’s part of my writing process, and I will always have to deal with that.
I’ve always said that I aspire to be happy, but recently I’ve come to realize that happiness isn’t some place that you arrive at, it’s part of the natural flow of emotions. For me, happiness isn’t constant, and I can only strive to feel that way as often as possible, while still being okay with it if I don’t feel amazing.
It’s hard to choose what’s best for yourself, especially if those choices will cause others to feel pain and sadness. But it’s even harder to live a certain way if you know you would be happier if things were different. I recently chose for my own happiness, and although it’s incredibly hard, it’s worth it.
Making life choices
I struggle a whole lot with making choices that will heavily affect my future. I very recently decided that I want to go back to school, and that was a very tough choice to make.
It’s hard for me to make these decisions because I don’t feel qualified to make them, even though they’re about my own life. How am I supposed to make these life decisions if I don’t really have much life experience to help me decide what’s best for me? But in the end, I did it, and I’m proud of myself.
Reinventing my love for football
This might be a weird one to include here, but I’m currently reinventing my love for sports, and football (soccer for you Americans) in particular. As a teenager, I loved the game and the culture around it, but because of a few unfortunate events, my love for football died down a little. I still liked it, but I wasn’t nearly as invested in it.
Recently, I’ve been trying to reinvent my love for the sport, something I feel weirdly excited about. It almost feels like I’m finally allowing myself to enjoy it again after such a long time of pulling myself away from it. And that’s something that makes me really happy.
I’m constantly feeling like I’m on the path of self-growth and self-discovery, but in the past three weeks this feeling has been especially strong. But I’m back on the blog and I’m finally feeling inspired again, so I hope to get back into the swing of things very soon.