help my friend is depressed

My Friend Is Depressed: An Incomplete Guide To Helping Your Suffering Friend

First of all, kudos for you if you opened this post because you’re worried about your friend. It’s really hard to see someone you care about sink into a mental illness, not knowing what you should do or say.

One out of every ten adults in the US suffers from depression.  Not to mention that this number would probably be much higher if there wasn’t any stigma attached to this disorder, or going to therapy at all. At worst, depression can lead to suicide – the second leading cause of death in 15-29 year olds. As someone who has suffered and has seen people suffer from this mental illness, I wanted to share some thoughts on the subject.

Understanding What Depression is (And Isn’t..)

I think the first step is to understand what your friend is going through. From another person’s perspective, depression can look like regular sadness. Your friend might not get out much, they’ll say they are sick, don’t feel well but that it will pass. Regular sadness will pass with time, but depression doesn’t work the same way.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ― Laurell K. HamiltonMistral’s Kiss

Depression is much more extreme than regular sadness. It lasts longer. It’s more intense. Depression is not sadness. It feels like a dark hole, like all the air has been squeezed out of your lungs, and at worst, it will make you feel completely numb. It’s important to know that – just like many illnesses – the symptoms aren’t the same for everyone, which is one of the reasons I called this guide incomplete. Some people suffering from depression have trouble concentrating, while others are irritable or just feel empty. Read More »


The Truth About Eating Disorders: Why We Need to Stop Romanticizing The Anorexic

I knew a girl.

Pale. Delicate. Skinny. There’s something so romantic about her. Something that needs to be protected. She draws you in. Beautiful and broken and lost. She has those big, nervous eyes. She’s made of glass. Every word breaks her. And she bleeds. She bleeds all the time, but you wouldn’t know. Because the outside is always perfect. Day after day, she’s striving for perfection. You think you know that girl: the Anorexic.

Only you don’t know her. I’m sure of it. Because I was that girl.

They don’t tell you the whole story. All you see is that beautiful fragile girl with the needy eyes and nervous smile. All you see is someone with lots of motivation. Good grades. Perfect make-up.

They don’t tell you about the nights where they can’t sleep because of the hunger, and they go downstairs in a haze to binge on food. You don’t know about the purge that comes afterwards: the vomit mixed with blood. The kilometers on the treadmill that are never enough to get rid of it all.

They don’t tell you about the mornings that they contemplate going to class. Not sure if they have enough energy. Not sure if people will notice that they lost even more weight. But at the same time hoping that they will.

”Soon, I’ll be thinner than all of you, she swore to herself. And then I’ll be the winner. The thinner is the winner.” – Steven Levenkron

Read More »

positive thinking

Why Thinking Positively Doesn’t Always Work (And What to do Instead)

As a self-help blogger, something I see a lot in this community is the notion that ”positive thinking” can change your life, and that it’s all you need to change your life.

Personally, I believe that positive thinking has a place in this community, and it’s important to take a critical look at your own thought patterns, but it’s not the end-all solution to all of your life problems.

[unpopular opinion] Positive thinking will not solve all of your problems. In fact, thinking that positive thinking is all you need to feel better and become this success machine is quite a dangerous way of thinking. [/unpopular opinion]

But please don’t crucify me just yet. Read More »

20 Ways To Instantly Reduce Stress And Feel Better

It’s incredibly difficult in today’s day and age to find time to wind down and relax. However, it’s super important to relax if you wish to live a long, healthy and happy life.

Because I know you’re short on time, I’ve created the list of all the lists: 20 activities that will instantly reduce your stress levels!

Get more sleep

Believe me, getting enough sleep doesn’t make you lazy. Sleep is the body’s natural way to heal it, and you also allow your brain to get some rest. Allow yourself to rest and get at least 7, but preferably 8 hours of sleep every night. You’ll notice a huge change in your attention span, energy levels and food cravings.

Write your thoughts and feelings down

We all have things that we don’t want to talk about with other people, yet they still occupy our minds. When you start getting into a journaling habit, you’ll notice that the little notebook will become your new best friend.

Take a drive to nowhere

I’m among the people that enjoy taking trips to nowhere: whether it’d be driving or taking a train. Sometimes you just need to do that to declutter your mind. I like to go to the beach and watch the sunset all by myself, or go into the city to watch people walking around enjoying themselves.

Check in with yourself

We get so distracted by work and taking care of others that we can forget to check in with ourselves. Ask yourself ‘what do I need today?’ and you’ll find an answer. Be sure to schedule whatever it is that you need. Self care is important!

Get dressed up for fun

I believe ‘dressing up for the job you want, not the job you have’ is one of the best pieces of advice out there. Dressing up makes me feel good, and you don’t need a reason to doll yourself up! It’s also a great excuse to take some selfies.

Drink some tea and read a book in bed

Tea makes you feel warm inside, and reading a novel or a good non-fiction book has tons of great benefits. Bonus points if you listen to a relaxing playlist and light a scented candle at the same time. So cozy!Read More »

6 Ways Becoming A Minimalist Will Change Your Life

When I first started experimenting with minimalism two years ago, I had no idea that it would change my life as much as it did.

I thought I would declutter my space and just feel slightly better, but that’s not what happened. Instead, my entire life changed for the better, and if you’re contemplating becoming a so-called ‘minimalist’, your life will probably change in a similar way.

The minimalist community has grown exponentially in the past few years. I believe this has everything to do with worldwide financial turmoil, concerns for the environment, high levels of debt, and just the general realization that there’s more to life than just possessions.

Minimalism is everywhere around us. Ever since smartphones became popular and widely available, many people have ditches their address books, MP3-players, separate camera’s, books and more.

The same things happens in the drug store. Lots of brands are buying into the minimalist marketing approach – brands that used to package their products in glittery, colourful bottles are now going for sleek, simple design with clear call-to-actions and promises of the products. That’s what the people want these days.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 17.58.08

Of course, then there are people like me who like talking about being a minimalist as much as being one – this lifestyle has truly changed who I am as a person, and I would love for other people to experience the same thing I did. Here’s how my life changed

Financial freedom

Being minimal means having to spend less money, because you feel the need for less things. But not only that, my minimalism journey completely shifted my perspective on consumerism. Suddenly, clothes, purses and expensive make-up didn’t seem that important to me, especially if they aren’t ethically produced.

I learned that cheaper isn’t always better, and now often opt for a slightly more expensive option that will last me for a longer amount of time. I still buy what I need, but only what I need.

If you like fashion and make-up, that’s completely fine to spend money on, but for me, those things don’t bring me a huge amount of joy.

Being aware of the environment

Minimalism made me realize that consumerism really does have a big impact on our planet. By having a more minimalist lifestyle, you avoid (overly) contributing to landfills and you’re decreasing the demand for products. Minimalism seeped into many different aspects of my life, including the food I eat, the products I buy and the way I choose to travel. 

Of course, not everything I own is ethically produced – you could even argue that nothing is completely ethical – but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to use fewer resources. When fewer resources are being expended, less pollution will be entering the ecosystem – and every little bit counts. Read More »

how to go braless

Why I Stopped Wearing Bras And How You Can Too

I vividly remember the first time I truly considered going braless. I had been talking to a friend who has much bigger boobs than me – she’s a D cup – and she goes braless all the time.

”It’s fine, a bit uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn’t have it any other way now.”

What intrigued me, was that I never even noticed she didn’t wear bras. She’s one of those people who always dresses well, has a distinctive style and perfect make-up. At that point, in my mind going braless was still something only sloppy people did. Something I’ve changed my opinion on since.

And the funny part was, I have much smaller boobs than her. I sport a small B cup, to be exact. I’ve grown to love my small boobs, and came to the realization that I only wore bras because it was normal to do so. With my size, I don’t need the support of a bra and I personally don’t care a whole lot about a nipple poking through every once in a while. Not to mention that there is some scientific evidence that wearing a bra can actually be bad for you.

So, I decided to stop wearing bras. In the beginning, it felt like everyone was staring at me. Even though they weren’t, well, except for a few people.

An older lady at a restaurant.

A guy when I was waiting in line at a bank.

A friend saying my girls looked so perky.

But I liked it. And I continue to go braless about 90% of the time. If you want to go braless but you’re worried about nips, your self-esteem or you just feel a bit uncomfortable, I have a few tried-and-true tips for you!

How To Start Going Braless: 4 Tips

Wear thick fabrics or layers: I like wearing layers in the spring when it’s not super hot outside. I pair a tight, thinner shirt with a jacket or cardigan that falls over my boobs so my nips don’t show. If you just want to wear a shirt or top on its own, try to look for fabric that closely resembles the fabric of a sweater, as it’s usually a lot thicker.Read More »

self care activities

100 Ways To Practice Self-Care

Self-care seems to be a hot topic in bloggerland, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In the past year, I’ve gotten more into self-care myself and it has made both my physical and mental health a lot better.

I think we all would like to take better care of ourselves, but  we often don’t really know where to start. Today I want to share 100 self-care activities with you. Even if you work on one or two activities at a time, you will be able to make a big change.


Remember, in the end it’s all about making a sustainable change for you, to become happier and healthier in the long run.

100 self-care activities

  1. Sleep in
  2. Take a walk in a neighbourhood you don’t visit often
  3. Eat a homecooked meal you love
  4. Go for a bike ride
  5. Take a long, hot shower
  6. Do a face mask
  7. Meditate
  8. Call your friend
  9. Pick up a that new hobby you’ve wanted to try for a while now
  10. Stretch
  11. Watch a motivating YouTube video
  12. Watch a horror movie while eating ice cream
  13. Take photos of the things that you love
  14. Declutter your space
  15. Sit and listen to the sounds of nature
  16. Stay off of social media while eating breakfast, lunch and dinner
  17. Read a book instead of scrolling through your phone before sleeping at night
  18. Do some yoga
  19. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful
  20. Laugh
  21. Pet an animal
  22. Go to a cafe by yourself
  23. Re-watch an episode of your favorite TV-show
  24. Pamper yourself: get a manicure or haircut
  25. Light a candle
  26. Go for a swim
  27. Read inspirational quotes on Pinterest
  28. Drink a bottle of water
  29. Dance
  30. Create a vision board
  31. Watch your favorite movie
  32. Listen to an album from start to finish
  33. Have a cup of tea
  34. Have lunch with a friend
  35. Smile at a stranger
  36. Volunteer
  37. Go outside and watch the sunset
  38. Write a list of things you’re thankful for
  39. Try a new recipe
  40. Slow down and be in the present
  41. Buy yourself some flowers
  42. Paint your nails
  43. Go for a run
  44. Write yourself a love letter
  45. Fill in your calendar
  46. Lotion your entire body
  47. Take a power nap
  48. Take a day off of work
  49. Write down your goals for the upcoming week
  50. Listen to a podcast
  51. Read old posts of your favorite blog
  52. Take deep breaths
  53. Look through your photos and be proud of what you have accomplished in life
  54. Practice mindful eating
  55. Paint
  56. Take a coffee break
  57. Try a green smoothie
  58. By yourself something that’s been on your mind for a while
  59. Wear your favorite outfit
  60. Get on top of your finances
  61. Go to bed early
  62. Eat a big breakfast
  63. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
  64. Go to a museum
  65. Try a new food
  66. Get up at sunrise
  67. Take a yoga class
  68. Treat yourself to some luxury dark chocolate
  69.  Write in your journal
  70. Take a digital detox
  71. Drink lots of green tea
  72. Tidy your room or house
  73. Get out your Christmas lights, even if it’s July
  74. Wear fluffy socks
  75. Pluck your eyebrows
  76. Organise a party
  77. Learn to say no
  78. Be in the present
  79. Sing
  80. Celebrate your small achievements
  81. Make yourself a a nice, big salad
  82. Take a bath
  83. Buy new bedsheets or pillows
  84. Change the lockscreen of your phone to something that makes you happy
  85. Tell someone you love them
  86. Snuggle with your pet
  87. Visit the zoo
  88. Watch a stand-up comedy show
  89. Grow your own herbs
  90. Throw yourself a party
  91. Plan your dream vacation
  92. Learn something new
  93. Turn your phone off
  94. Bake cookies
  95. Buy coffee for a stranger
  96. Look yourself in the mirror and say you’re beautiful
  97. Visit a new city by yourself
  98. Give someone online a compliment
  99. Change the furniture in your house
  100. Declutter your workspace

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